Workplace dating pros and cons
If that’s the case, you can’t put her in charge of a narrative that could have serious professional repercussions for you.Really, what should happen here is either (1) you continue to work on her projects as normal, and she accepts whatever discomfort that entails as the price of dating a coworker, or (2) you explain the situation to your boss and, if your coworker feels she needs it, she asks for a brief reprieve from working together if the work makes that possible to accommodate.That’s not usually a scandal as long as both people remain professional at work, and as long as they don’t issue “I won’t work with Fergus” ultimatums.Normally the only way it would severely impact you both is if you weren’t supposed to be dating at all because of the power differential — and if that’s the case, she’d be viewed as more at fault than you.But that would unfortunately turn this into an HR situation.I’ve never been in this kind of situation before and I find it very stressful and difficult to navigate. I’m trying to do the best thing for both parties, but I understand I come first. Should I have gone to HR despite the potential ramifications?And is that truly better than just explaining the situation?
But the real question is how many schools really enforce it. At Joy Christian School the dress code in the last year has dramatically changed, getting more and more lenient as the years go by because of students refusing to follow it....Wait, why do you think that telling your company about the situation would “severely impact” both of you?Most companies don’t have no-fraternization policies. People date coworkers, and sometimes those relationships end badly.If she’s unable to work with someone she used to date, that’s on her, not on you — and in a well-functioning company, she’d be expected to either conduct herself professionally or remove herself from the situation. And if she is a powerful rainmaker type or otherwise highly valued, it’s more of a risk.And if you’re truly junior to her, a well-functioning company would have real concerns about legal ramifications of pushing out a junior person for getting involved with a senior one (it’s not inherently illegal for an employer to do that, but it would create risks around potential harassment allegations, for one thing). So it’s not that there’s no danger to you, but I’ve got to wonder about her motives in framing it that way to you.