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"I don't think it would ever feel right being there without him," she admitted.Their relationship wasn't perfect, of course, but they made it work.” Carroll says in the clip about her ex, who co-starred with her on “The Challenge: Battle of the Exes II” that aired after his death.“It finally feels right now, though.” “I decided to take a few Challenges off after he passed away, so it was scary going into a Challenge house without him,” she adds to the camera.
When we ended things, you broke my heart, and I tried so hard to protect myself from you that I shut you out. You tried so hard to make things better -- to make your past mistakes right -- and I wouldn't allow that. I wish I would have forgiven you, and I wish I hadn't been scared to let you back in.
"I don't think he would regret anything," she continued. I have talked to his friends that were with him that night, and he was happy.
He was doing what he always did every time he went out, but he was happy, so I guess you need to find some sort of peace with that.
But you never gave up, because you always believed in us.
On the day we said goodbye to you, Ashlee gave me a card and in it, she said, "Rest assure knowing that when Knight left this earth, he believed in his heart of hearts he would end up with you." Knight, I never told anybody this, but I thought we'd end up together too. I promise you I'll spend the rest of my days telling all your stories; I promise as long as I'm alive, your memory will be too.
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And even though falling in love while filming a television show isn't a normal love story, it was ours. I'll forever have those memories, and though I'm not ready yet, one day when I am, I'll be able to watch our story.