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For quite a few years I guess I denied it to myself, I didn't want it to be true."I thought it was a passing thing that would go away."Mc Coole said he had previously controlled his paedophilic urges while working at summer camp in the USA and thought he could do the same at work in Adelaide.
He said he sought support from online chat rooms because he did not think a psychiatrist or psychologist would keep his paedophilic thoughts confidential."I was actually looking for help online and I wasn't really able to find help and just stumbled across chats," Mc Coole said.
The inquiry heard that before Families SA hired Mc Coole he had become more active in child abuse chat rooms, as well as viewing and sharing child pornography.
He said while he had been attracted to children since about the age of 15, he never intended to abuse children when he started work for Nanny SA, Families SA and the out-of-school-hours care service."I didn't want to be this way — I had quite a lot of self loathing, I still do," he said."It's hard to describe how much you hate yourself.
But Mc Coole rejected that, saying: "I don't think that crossed my mind."He said he did not really consider the risk of getting caught."It would have been in my mind, I guess, to not get caught," he said."I wasn't really considering risk; I was well beyond the risk."Mc Coole declined to answer questions on some topics for fear of further incriminating himself.
He was due to return to the royal Commission on Monday but finished his evidence yesterday.
One analogous characteristic is engaging in sexual behaviors despite the negative consequences they bring.
For example, you might continue seeking out sex despite having already lost your job for related reasons.
Meetings are held anonymously, which helps members feel more comfortable sharing their thoughts, experiences, and struggles.About a year before his arrest, a fellow worker reported the suspected rape of a six-year-old girl by Mc Coole.He told the inquiry that a Families SA supervisor supported him by saying "he thought it was a complete load of shit" and Mc Coole later returned from suspension.He outlined how to gain access to children through his employment and strategies to avoid detection. He is currently serving 35 years' jail for child sexual abuse and operating a global child pornography website between January 2011 and June 2014.The Child Protection Systems Royal Commission previously heard serious red flags were not acted on during his employment as a government carer.
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He could not explain what caused him to act on his paedophilic thoughts."I've asked myself a lot why I changed or what changed and I have no idea," he said.