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I went to a Christmas at her family’s house and it felt less ritualistic than family’s Christmas Eve Chinese-food-and-a-movie tradition.Even as our relationship became more serious, I did not want to push her to convert, yet I kept hoping she would become interested in the religion on her own.My paternal grandparents survived the Holocaust and met at a displaced persons camp in Landsberg, Germany, before they moved to the United States.My father spent his entire professional life working for Jewish Federations across the country. Unlike me, she hadn’t dreamed of meeting someone Jewish and having a Jewish wedding. I was only able to relax around non-Jewish women, because I didn’t feel the same pressure; that’s how I met, and fell in love with, my wife.We would chat with each other online virtually every day while I was in college, and even after I graduated. Before long the site gave me a listing of potential Jewish candidates.

This information was pounded in from all directions, from rabbis, from my parents, my grandparents, Hebrew High School, Camp Ramah.By the time I graduated, I’d still never been in anything approaching a serious relationship. She lived in New Hampshire, shared all of my nerdy hobbies, had a great sense of humor, and looked like a younger blonde version of geek icon Gillian Anderson from .She had a great sense of humor, a wonderful smile, and an honesty that I found refreshing.My parents liked Alicia, but not the fact that she wasn’t Jewish.My paternal grandparents were more concerned; I promised them that I would only marry a Jewish girl.

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In high school, this decision proved to be mostly moot. I tried not to follow up on them at first, but I was frustrated and lonely and had finite willpower.

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