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They feel they have failed their partners sexually.

They feel if they were only more attractive or more available he wouldn’t rush to the porn to get his fix.

Ana Bridges from University of Arkansas’ psychology department says in her own research she has met many women who have justified their husbands’ behavior.What if, for a brief moment, men turned their eyes away from the fantasy images—the airbrushed photos, the clever video editing, the breast enhancements, and the thumbnail images that portray women like dogs in heat—and instead focused on what pornography is really costing them and their wives?Before we quickly label distressed wives as overly conservative prudes, what if we peeled back the layers and instead saw women who were mourning the loss of something they should rightly expect from their husbands: intimacy.Shelli remembers well the day her husband John called her up to confess his secret obsession with pornography.Years of guilt, shame, and wasted time had finally taken its toll on John, and the emotional dam broke. “It took me by complete surprise,” she says, “I didn’t have any clue that it was even an issue.” But after the shock came the hurt.

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Others train their minds to be turned on by certain physical characteristics.

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