Intimidating questions ask
Which is why having some solid, standard questions handy can make it much easier to build and deepen a connection.
But having prepared questions raises another issue.
Too many guys ask girls questions that are either too boring (“Come here often? ”), too silly (“If you could be a flavor of Kool-Aid, what flavor would you be?
”) or too much like a job interview (“What do you want to be doing in five years? What you need aren’t just questions, but good questions.
As a result, she’ll associate the elevated mood she experiences with talking to you. You’re also getting a small window into her overall life by asking her what the best part of her week is.
You’ll learn a lot from what she chooses to tell you about.
Whatever her response, she gets to determine what she wants to share with you about her week — and you get to listen.
It’s best to use them in an appropriate, organic way, but if you find the conversation dwindling and you want to keep it going, don’t be afraid to pull one out.
The key here is to recap what she said (“It sounds like you and your dad spent a lot of time golfing together”) and then ask a relevant question that also pivots the conversation a bit (“What about your mom? ”) In fact, you might choose this question specifically as an exercise so that you get better at thinking on your feet in the middle of a conversation and asking solid follow-up questions.
“What’s the thing you most want to do with your life?
She’s not giving you a laundry list of everything she did this week. That’s excellent information for you to decide whether this is someone you’d like to spend more time with. ” This one breaks our rule about being positive, but for a great reason.
You’re not trying to get her to “vent” or even picking her brain for information about what not to do (though you will get useful information about that too!