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MORE: 5 Things That Turn Men Off to Relationships Hollywood loves to spread this idea that if someone rejects you, you should just push harder and harder and harder and suddenly, some magic event will happen and you’ll end up together. It’s better I give you a straight-up reality check because reality can be pretty cold when it comes to this kind of thing.

The good news is that there’s a way to avoid this and possibly turn things around. Not in a dramatic, mean-spirited or punishing sort of way. I have to imagine the sting is just as bad for a girl when she hears that message from a guy friend she has feelings for. Well, even if your guy isn’t “damaged goods,” I hope you read the last section because backing off is a truly be OK with being just friends right now.

Of course, you could just decide to give up and find another guy that appreciates you exactly as you are. So let’s talk about the game-plan (and I’m going to warn you, I’m not sugarcoating this – it’s a blunt, no-punches-pulled guide)… It’s not fair, we didn’t choose our biological/sexual makeup – it is what it is.

She attracted him and in some way made it clear (usually without a word) that if he wants her, he needs to act now or lose his shot. But the new girl who just entered the picture is completely fresh – he can act like whomever he wants to appear to be and she’ll accept that that’s who he is.The more you try to force reality, the more it’s going to feel like pressure to the guy friend and the more he’s going to shrink away from you and guard himself.He’ll stop feeling like he can trust you and he’ll start feeling like he’s a target for your own personal conquest.If you want this guy and want a different result than what you’re getting, it’s clear that you need to change what you’ve been doing.That may be hard to swallow, but when you think it through it’s pretty clear. However, the fact that you’re reading this tells me that you probably have already tried that or you’ve looked and there’s nobody else who’s impressed you as much as this one guy.

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